Bex in another city?

Can’t sleep lately.  My mind’s been churning over too many things.  I just finished teaching.  For good I think.  At least a temporary retirement, with no pension.  This past year has been full of tummolt, from all directions, but at least my career is something I can control.  Then the lease to my apartment ran out.  And it was too much to renew.  So I moved.  To limbo.  Aka, subleasing a friend’s apt till mid-August as I reevaluate my life.  I’m 27, unmarried, unemployed, and now homeless!  Having no ties, I think it’s time for a change.  And it looks like that change might be a move to San Francisco.  In a few weeks, I’ll be out there for interviewing and scoping.  So I’m freaking out.  I love New York, to death.  But the city hasn’t been loving me back lately.  I know it will always be here, if I need to come back.  Right now the Pacific is calling my name, and it’s keeping me up at night….

Stay classy, Philadelphia

Last Saturday, Stefi and I went to Philly to hit up the big rivalry game - Mets v. Philadelphia at Citizen’s Bank Park.  The park is gorgeous.  Stef and I had standing room only “seats,” which meant we were able to score a really sweet spot standing behind home plate.  They have these bar-like ledges you can lean on, rest you food on, etc.  Totally brilliant idea.  Apparently they only sell the standing room seats for sold out games, and I would totally do it again (hint, hint, Citi Field).  Anyway lots of Mets fans were down there, including the girls of Spring Training - Zoe and Coop, and the “famous” Matt Cerrone.  It was a really great time (awesome to win on enemy turf), and for the most part, despite all the rivalry talk, the fans were cool.  But some of them were hideous.  First there was the drunk fan to our right.  He consistently tried to engage us in banter, but he wasn’t clever or funny and we had to keep brushing him off (quote of the night “Win, loose or draw, your team still sucks!” uhhhh….).  Same guy spat on a fan 10 rows in front of him - a Phillies fan!  Crazy.  Stef an I hung out at the McFadden’s in the stadium for a while after the game, then left around 8:30 to take the SEPTA back to out hotel.  At this point it was pretty dark and desolate, so we tried to catch up to a group of people we saw walking that way.  Apparently that was a mistake.  The men started harassing us and making crude remarks, and one of them slapped me on the ass.  They were with girls, who joined in on the heckling.  I never thought I’d feel unsafe somewhere just because I was wearing a Mets shirt.  Like I said, it wasn’t all the Phillies fans who behaved that way, but it was a turnoff.  Although what can you expect from a team whose mascot (WTF with the Phanatic?!) smashes a plastic Mets helmet between innings?  I know you haven’t won anything in a while, but let’s keep some good sportsmanship.  Stay classy, Philadelphia.

(Coop, Stef, Me, Zoe)

Oooh, what a little sunshine will dooo…

Thanks to all for your sweet comments.  It’s been rough.  It’s getting easier every day (so they tell me).

Last weekend I went to Florida for Mets Spring Training.  Best vacation ever.  Seriously.  Stefi and I went last year for the first time.  Since then, she started a Mets Blog - You Can’t Script Baseball.  We met up with a whole bunch of her blogger friends this time around and it was lots of fun.  The Mets won all 3 games I went to (even if they were not the best wins), I met some players, enjoyed the sunshine (even got a little burn), started running, eating, and sleeping again.  Course that hasn’t held up as well since I’ve been back in NYC, but what can you do.  I’m a work in progress.  Can’t wait till next year.  Or my next vacation!  I leave you with the girls of spring training.

Coop, Zoe, Stefi, Me!

Pieces on a February Morning

I started a new book the other day. One of the many I’m reading. Some people don’t understand how I can read more than one book at a time. I wouldn’t call it a skill; it’s more like an ADD. Plus being in a book club necessitates that I have at least one other book for my own personal pleasure – the two don’t necessarily coincide. Anyway, this book started with a quote, “A child needs your love most when he deserves it least.” This has stuck with me for nearly a week now. At first I read it and felt somewhat angry. It made me think of the kids I teach and how sometimes they are so incredibly infuriating that I don’t want to help them. Last week one of them flung a pencil at me that narrowly missed my face. I felt shaky all day, despite the fact that he was removed from my classroom. Then the quote made me sad for that very same reason. It made me feel like maybe I’m not giving them enough. It made me wonder if I take things in my own life for granted. Someone told me that I’m too sensitive to work this job. Maybe so. Anyhow, this book is about a parent, not a teacher. And although I’m not one yet, I grew up believing that parents loved unconditionally. I don’t know when that belief was shattered, but it’s extremely devastating to think so. I’m someone who loves openly and proudly. My family, friends, lovers. I wouldn’t say without condition, but I think that there are certain things you can overlook in the people you love. I’m sure there were times growing up when I was horrible to my parents but they still loved me. Because I was a part of them. And because of who I am as a person. I’ve always tried to look for the redeeming qualities in my students, as difficult as it can be sometimes. It’s always easier to forgive the ones you really love for their transgressions. I’m lucky, I have a lot of people I love, a lot of people who love me. My kids are lucky if their parents love them enough to send them to school with lunch for a field trip.

I’m on my February vacation right now. It’s easier to look at them with clear eyes through the distance. It’s easier to look at a lot of things.

I’ve spent much of this time thinking about my future. I’m no fortuneteller, but I know this job isn’t it. You all know this isn’t it. So much of it boils down to my own sensitivity. In every aspect of the job. My mother was a psychiatric social worker. I could never. So much for my hope and optimism. Someone once told me that the New York City Board of Education was declared a failure by the supreme court. One person can’t save the world. Or can they? I’ve applied to teaching jobs at other schools – private, high school, charter. I’m not sure that’s it either. I got an email about a food stylist. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I’ll leave the country when my job and my lease end in June. Run away somewhere without cold weather. Teach English in the Greek islands or learn how to surf in Hawaii. The fantasies are endless. Scratch that, the possibilities are endless.

I had drinks with an old friend last night. We went to preschool together. God, can you believe how long ago that was. We were friends for most of our childhoods and we reconnected when both of us first moved to the city. Every time we meet up, we ask ourselves why we don’t do it more often. I love friends like that. I need to see her more regularly. It’s funny when you disconnect from someone, only to discover that you’re still so similar. Last night, after rounds of conversation and Guiness, we ran outside the bar, in just our sweatshirts in the freezing cold to see the lunar eclipse. Amazing that you can see these things even in the brightly lit skies of the city. There won’t be another one until 2010. I never would have remembered. I’m so glad she did.

Pictures

…are on the way.  I have loaded some onto myspace and facebook, so you can look on there if you’re my friend.  Flickr is bugging me, so I am working out some kinks with it.  All in time

Return

I’m back!  Exhausted, jetlagged, and so happy to be back in NYC.

Coming home

I am ready to go home.  This trip has been incredible.  But I’m exhausted, and I miss NYC terribly.  I want my bed, my friends, my kitties, and a pedicure.  Tonight I leave Santorini for Pireaus.  Arrive at 1:3o am.  From there head to the Athens airport and camp there till my 9am flight.  Arrive Heathrow (after a 2 hour time change) at 11am.  Leave Heathrow at 6pm.  Arrive in NYC at 9pm.  It is going to be a loooong Tuesday.

Greek Islands are pretty stellar, although I haven’t been able to see as much as I would have liked.  And Greek men?  Well, they sure like me!  Italians too, they’re all travelling in the islands at the moment and they are pretty damn aggressive!  Starting to get quite the ego out here ;)  Stories on that to come, for sure.

I’m off to enjoy my last hours in Santorini.  See ya stateside!

T minus 1 week…

Holy shitballs, where has the time gone?  I only have one week left of my super european adventure!  It has been fantastic, but I am getting ready to get back to good old NYC.  Even when I’m having the time of my life, I miss that city!

In the past few days I’ve been to Pisa (to take one of those cliched pictures with the Aussie boys), Florence (where I met a chef and talked about food all day), Venice (and I am TOTALLY enamored with Venice!) and am currently in Athens, heading to Mykonos this evening for a party all night, Santorini on Friday, and back to reality next Tuesday.  I’ll post more fully upon my return (and full night’s sleep) to the states.  Much to write about, but travel exhaustion is winning out at the moment!  To those of you in NYC, can’t wait to see you upon my return!  Pictures to come soon as well.

XOXO,

Bex

Cinque Terre

Wow.  Cinque Terre is heaven on earth!  I arrived in Riomaggiore on Monday in the late afternoon.  Walked around a bit then came back to my (super dodgy) hostel to do laundry where I met Jason - an Aussie from Surfer’s Paradise.  He made us drinks and we chatted, later meeting 2 other Aussie boys from Melbourne.  We ended up heading to the beach to have a bbq (Jason had purchased a cheap one along the way) and to drink some wine.  Then we went to Bar Centrale - the bar in Riomaggiore where EVERYONE goes to drink.  It’s crazy and fun and nonsense.  At one point, I was already pretty smashed, and Jason pulled me aside to tell me “he liked me.”  I told him we were better off as friends, especially as we had planned to do the 5 town hike the next day.  But kinda awkward, I was definitely NOT into him.

Drank some more at the bar, and somehow still managed to wake up bright and early for the hike between the 5 towns the next day!  So glad I woke up early, by the time I got to the end, it was hot and the trails were getting crowded. Riomaggiore-Manorola-Corniglia-Vernazza-Monterosso.  People say the hike takes 5 hours, we did it in 3hrs 45min (with stops for coffee, pictures, and exploring).  We being myself and Jason.  It was fun, and it was great having someone there to take my picture, and to eat a big lunch with, but at some point we were lying on the beach (Monterosso has the best beaches in Cinque Terre) and he started touching my leg.  So I had to reiterate that we were just friends and that’s that.

After the hike, we met another Aussie girl - Liesel - at the hostel.  She and I hit it off and all of us went out to dinner that night.  The restaurant (more like a bar) overlooked the water and was gorgeous with really simple, fresh food.  We ended up at Bar Centrale again where the bartenders were hideous and all of Riomaggiore was hanging out.  At one point I started talking to some Canadian guys and they invited me down to the beach to hang out and drink wine.  So we all headed to the beach in the dark in the middle of the night.  And, as I say, you know it’s a random night when… you’re lying on a rock beach in the middle of the night with a 19 year old discussing baseball and David Lynch.  Yeah, that kind of night!

On Wednesday, my last day in  Cinque Terre, I slept in late and went to explore the towns by train.  Along the way I ran into Liesel and a few Americans from the hostel.  Liesel and I went out to a nice meal in Monterosso and I caught some more beach time while she hiked.  Later that night, Jason, the Americans, Liesel and I went to the beach to have another bbq.  Jason was grilling fish and was being very weird and anti-social.  Then, after dinner, when he was cleaning the grill, he dropped it into the ocean.  We were a little tired of his weirdness, so, Liesel and I polished of the limoncello we’d picked up earlier that day and decided to head to the bar.  While there, we met some Aussie guys from Cairns - Luke, Dan, and John.  They were traveling all over Europe in a van.  We talked to them for a while and then Jason came up.  He was still being kinda quiet but was at least somewhat more social.  At one point, upon finding out that the boys were heading to Florence next (and so was I) he suggested I hop in the van with them.  We all thought that was a great idea.  But later, after Liesel and I suggested that they guys stay at our hostel (they had missed the last train to La Spezia where their van was parked), Jason freaked out, and started yelling that the guys were liars and that they couldn’t stay in “his” house and that I couldn’t travel with them.  Um, WTF?!?  So he threw a big fit and then stomped off, yelling at us all.  Okay….Later, the bar closed and we all decided to head to the beach again.  But first Liesel and I wanted to freshen up at the hostel.  So we stopped at our room and Jason was standing there, arms crossed, like we’re late for curfew and he’s our dad.  We quickly left and headed for the beach.  2, 3am rolled around, after a lovely time under the stars, and we decided to try to sneak the boys into our room (Jason was in the room next door).  Bad call.  Jason, of course, is awake and patrolling the hostel.  He comes charging in, yelling, and kicking the guys out.  Even locks Liesel out of the hostel!  So fucking crazy.  So I made plans to meet the boys in the am the next day and we quickly ushered them away.  Liesel and I went to bed (after I let her back in) and Jason was still up, roaming around the place, slamming doors and yelling.  Finally, he came into the room, yelled “twats!” at us, and slammed his door.  What a wanker!  I believe the word “douchebag” was invented for guys like him.  I woke up early the next day to escape the crazy, and meet up with the Aussie boys in La Spezia…

Nice

On Saturday I was in hell.  It was an internet-free, French hell, and all the signs were flashing “retard.”  My train to Nice was delayed.  In fact all trains were delayed indefinitely as there was a fire spanning 20km on the train tracks.  After waiting, alone, in a station where nobody speaks english, at one point I got in a long line to see what the fuck was happening.  After quite a wait, some woman came out, spoke very quickly in french, and everyone around me started freaking out.  I “parlez-vous anglais?”ed her, but no dice.  Finally, a French man next to me was able to explain that the woman had told me that no more trains were going out that day.  But don’t worry, I could come back tomorrow and my tickets would be free.  Um, but what about my night’s accomodation!?  So at this point I started to freak out and tear up.  But the French man next to me was like “don’t worry, I’m not from here either but I have friends here, I’ll find US a place to stay,” and started calling and texting all his friends.  So sweet!  Meanwhile, I felt bad because I was couchsurfing with a guy in Nice and he was going to meet me at the station.  Finally, an announcement was made, and the French man hurried me over to the train, saying - “this one’s leaving for Nice, try to get on it, I’ll be waiting here if you can’t get on.”  I mean seriously, where do these people come from?  So I got into Nice, 5 hours late, past 2am, and Florent (the man I was couchsurfing with) still came to meet me at the station.  I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about the whole couchsurfing thing, but it was really a lovely experience.  And Florent had several other girls staying with him, so it felt safe :)  Went to the beach the next day with Sabrina and Stephanie - 2 Canadians who were staying with Florent and had a nice relaxing day of recovery.  But the next day it was on to Cinque Terre, which is probably one of the best places I’ve been on this trip.  More on that later.  Right now I’m in Florence, heading to Venice tomorrow afternoon, and then going Greek on Monday.  Cannot believe how little time is left!